MS and Dating
I never had to worry about MS and dating because I was already in a relationship where it was out in the open. I was set.
Until that relationship ended.
I then had the realization: I am going to have to go through the process of telling the next person I date that I have a chronic illness.
What if they judge me?
What if they’re not supportive?
What if they don’t like me anymore?
All of these thoughts were spiraling in my mind as I went into full-blown panic mode, remembering that I was different.
My nerves overtook me, and I convinced myself that it wouldn’t be worth it to put myself out there.
That lasted a solid… maybe 2-3 days? I then had a second, more powerful realization.
If I meet someone and tell them that I have multiple sclerosis for the rest of my life and they turn around and leave, good riddance.
Just because I live with MS does not mean that I need to lower my standards or compensate for anything—I am still me, and I am not defined by MS! If it turns out that this next person is not supportive or understanding that I take frequent walk breaks, shake, have off days, or sometimes can’t formulate coherent sentences, then as Ariana Grande would say, “Thank you, next.”
When it comes to MS and relationships, I’ve learned one major thing: be with someone who is going to love and support you on your bad days just as intensely as they do on your good days. Someone who will fall back and keep pace with you when you’re a little slow. Someone who remembers that your MRI is today and offers to go with you. Someone who doesn’t mind eating PB and J for the third night in a row because you’re too tired to cook, and they’re just happy to be spending time with you.
I have multiple sclerosis, and I am different. But I will still love intensely, explore the world, smile all the time, rest when I need to, cook awesome meals and be there for anyone who needs me to be there.
When it comes to MS and dating, choose someone who is going to return that same treatment; choose someone who will not label you as inconvenient, but will nurture you when you’re in need of some good quality tender love and care!
We may have MS, but we are not who we are because of it. Tell those who you are comfortable telling, but do not settle for less than you deserve—you are a warrior and a force to be reckoned with!
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